Proverbs 31:31a Give her of the fruit of her hands;

Solomon was instructed to seek a virtuous woman to be his wife. His mother showed him the things he should be looking for in order to recognize the virtuous woman. His mother informed him of the benefits of having a virtuous woman. Now his mother admonishes Solomon that he is not to prevent his virtuous wife from receiving glory for the inward character that she has developed in her life.

The virtuous woman is going to have an impact not only in her home, but also in the community. While Solomon benefited by being married to a virtuous woman, his mother instructed him to permit his wife to have impact in the community. Solomon was to allow her to enjoy the fruit that was a result of her godly character.

Proverbs 31:30a Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain:

The virtuous woman understands that it is not the outward appearances that are the most important thing but rather the inward manifestations of the heart. A virtuous woman is more concerned about the condition of her heart knowing that the inward beauty will affect her outward appearance. If she concentrates her attention to that which man sees yet has an ugliness of heart, that inward ugliness will ruin any outward beauty.

Outward beauty can be deceitful because what one sees on the outside does not reveal the inward character. If all one did was look at the outside of an individual to determine if they had character, then they could easily be deceived. Imagine looking at a businessman and seeing that he is financially well off. You could say to yourself, that man is so successful; he must be a man of character. However, what you do not know is that the man often visits prostitutes. That man�s outward appearances may be desirable, but the condition of his heart is such that his life is in vain and you are the one who is deceived.

Proverbs 31:28b her husband also, and he praiseth her.

The woman who has chosen to allow virtue to permeate her life has chosen a high calling for her life. She is not like every other woman. She has chosen to live her life so that others might succeed. She has chosen to live her life so that when others look at her, they understand that there is something different about her.

According to the Law of Moses, if a husband felt that his wife had been unfaithful he was allowed to bring his wife before the priest who would make her drink a mixture of holy water and dirt. If she was faithful, then God would allow this mixture to have no consequence upon her life, however, if she had committed adultery, then the mixture would be her curse.

Proverbs 31:27b and eateth not the bread of idleness.

The eighth benefit that Solomon would receive in marrying a virtuous woman would be that she would continue to be a diligent woman. One of the many characteristics that Solomon was to look for in his future wife was that she was a diligent woman. Just because a person is diligent today, does not mean that they will be diligent tomorrow. However, Solomon was not simply looking for diligence in a wife, he was looking for virtue and one of the qualities he was looking for virtue would be found in diligence.

If a person just has diligence, they can quickly not become diligent when they grow weary or they just become board with what they are doing. However, a person who is virtuous understands that they are accountable to God and thus fills their thinking with the things of God. As a result, their diligence does not just come from their liking what they are doing; they demonstrate diligence because it is a way of life.

Proverbs 31:27a She looketh well to the ways of her household,

The seventh benefit that Solomon would receive in marrying a virtuous woman would be that his wife would care about how their children turned out. �Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: � As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.� (Psalm 127:3-4). A warrior with arrows is capable of seriously weakening the enemy prior to the attack. A wise man understands that if he trains up his children in the way they should go, he can do more damage to the enemies of God by carefully sending his children out into the world to properly reflect God�s glory.

Proverbs 31:26b and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

The sixth benefit that Solomon would receive in marrying a virtuous woman would be that the words of his wife would naturally be filled with kindness. Solomon was to be a wise man and examine the life of his bride to be very carefully in order to ensure that virtue filled her entire life. Jesus told us that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth does speak. Because the virtuous woman has filled her life with virtue, kindness is the fruit of her mouth.

The virtuous woman has demonstrated prior to her marriage that she is an independent individual who is able to properly manager her affairs so that she is not idle. One would naturally think that just because this virtuous woman was so self-sustaining prior to marriage that she would naturally lord over those around her. However, the law of the virtuous woman is the law of kindness and mercy. She has an excellency of spirit that enables her put God and others first. While virtue enabled her to be diligent and to not waste the time, talent and treasures that God had given her prior to her marriage, virtue also did not allow her to become proud of her achievements.

Proverbs 31:26a She openeth her mouth with wisdom;

The fifth benefit Solomon would receive in marrying a virtuous woman would be that his wife would demonstrate wisdom. Solomon once wrote that �He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.� (Prov. 13:20). By choosing a virtuous woman as a wife, Solomon would not be marrying a woman who would encourage him to do wrong but would encourage him to do what is right.

While Solomon was taught that he was to marry a virtuous woman, Solomon allowed himself to marry many strange women and �when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.� (I Kings 11:4). Solomon may have been the wisest man who ever lived, but he departed from the instruction of his mother which greatly diminished his ability to finish the race that God had set before him.

Proverbs 31:25b and she shall rejoice in time to come.

The fourth benefit that Solomon would receive in marrying a virtuous woman would be that his wife would not allow herself to worry about the future. The virtuous woman understands that God is in control of her life. While she could worry about her future, the virtuous woman instead has a strong gladness.

When you add virtue to your life, you fill your mind with those things that are true, honest, just pure, lovely and that are a good report. Because your mind is thinking about those things that are right in the eyes of God, the cares of the world will seem distant to you. Virtue gives you the moral strength to lay aside the things that do entangle you here on this earth. By adding virtue to your life, you now have the strength to obey Jesus� command to �Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.� (Matt. 6:34).

Proverbs 31:25a Strength and honor are her clothing;

The third benefit that Solomon would receive by marrying a virtuous woman would be that she has a strong mind. In addition to the strong mind, her inward character will produce an outward appearance that Solomon would find beautiful. The virtuous woman has demonstrated that she is a woman of high character and there are blessings attached to those who do that which is right in the eyes of God.

Because the virtuous woman took the time to pursue inward character, God has developed in her a hidden strength that will give her a maturity that will enable her to help others. The virtuous woman has experienced much, and this experience will help her when it comes time to �teach the young women�. It was traditional during this time of history that the young ladies did not receive a formal education; nonetheless, her experiences gave her wisdom and a mental strength. The most important thing was not a formal education but instead was a heart that was dedicated to doing that which is right. Because of her right attitude God has ensured that she was not lacking mentally.

Proverbs 31:24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

The second benefit that Solomon would receive by marrying a virtuous woman would be that she would not change just because she was married. The virtuous woman prior to her marriage was an active individual who learned several trades and was diligent to work rather then remain idle while waiting for a husband. Now that she is married, she continues to be diligent and finds ways to use the skills that she learned in her youth to help support her family. The virtuous woman does not quickly forget the traits that increased her worth in the eyes of her suitor.

Proverbs 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

Solomon was given many characteristics of virtue that he was to look for in a woman he desired to marry. In addition to the list of outward manifestations that Solomon should look for, he was also given a list of results that would occur in his life should he demonstrate wisdom by marrying a virtuous woman. The first benefit of marrying a virtuous woman was that his stature in the community would increase.

You become what you associate with. If you hang around those who are slothful, it will be hard for you to avoid eventually becoming a sluggard. If you hang around those who are diligent, then you should eventually become a more diligent individual. A virtuous individual has many quality characteristics, by associating with a virtuous person, it will change your life as you allow your life to change.

Proverbs 31:22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

The thirteenth characteristic of virtue Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry was that her possessions were quality. Clothing that was silk and purple at that time was the best clothing one could wear. While she is wearing the best quality clothing of her time, Solomon was to contrast that with her house were he was to examine whether she also adorned her house with quality possessions. Coverings of tapestry often referred to a carpet that was placed upon the ground that others were able to sit upon while visiting. The virtuous woman would care about the way she dressed, but she also would care about those who came into her house to ensure that her house had proper furnishings to make her guests comfortable.

Proverbs 31:21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

The twelfth characteristic of virtue Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry is that she is confident and does not allow fear to control her. The virtuous woman is similar to the ant described in Proverbs 6 that prepared ahead of time for the winter. One can properly prepare for winter but still fear the inclement weather. However, one who has the inner strength of virtue in their life will be confident in their preparations and will not allow themselves to be sitting around worrying about whether they should have done more to properly prepare.

Proverbs 31:20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

The eleventh characteristic of virtue Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry was how she treated the poor. Solomon was instructed to look for a woman who did not shun the poor but instead, one who was willing to help take care of the needs of the poor. She could not be a respecter of persons, but instead, must be willing to use her abundance to help those who are less fortunate.

It is easy to be friendly to the lovely. It is easy to be hospitable to those who can return the favor. However, it takes a completely different mindset in order to provide for the needs of the poor knowing full well that they will probably never return the favor. Christ told you that �Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.�

Proverbs 31:19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

The tenth characteristic of virtue Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry was that she demonstrates a humble spirit in that no work was below her station in life. Several commentators on the Bible indicate that at this time in Jewish history it was the servant�s job to work with the spindle and distaff. However, the virtuous woman that Solomon was to look for would be a woman who was not only willing to work with her hands but that no job was too lowly for her and that by her example, she would teach her servants diligent working habits. The virtuous woman that Solomon was looking for not only was willing to work, but she was capable of working many different trades and thus was able to help wherever the need arose.

Proverbs 31:18b her candle goeth not out by night.

The ninth characteristic that Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry was that she demonstrated her virtue by always being prepared. Jesus once told the story of ten virgins, five who were wise and five who were foolish. The five wise virgins took oil in their lamps and were prepared for the hour in which the bridegroom came whereas the foolish virgins were not prepared and thus were not permitted to take part in the marriage ceremony that took place that night.

Solomon was looking for a person who took the time to prepare her life to be ready for whatever God brought her way. She was not going to be caught unawares. Solomon did not want to marry a person who did not plan a head, an individual who allowed herself to get into bigger problems because she did not foresee simple delays or hindrances.

Proverbs 31:18a She perceiveth that her merchandise is good:

The eighth characteristic of virtue that Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry was that the work of her hands be quality. You do not have to look far to find an individual who does the minimal amount of work in order to get by. However, when Solomon was looking for a spouse, he was to look for a woman who was diligent in her work, a woman who took pride in what she did and who did not cut corners.

Because you serve a living God, you understand that you are accountable to HIM for every thought, action and deed. When you add virtue to your life, you are now thinking upon the things of God which means that when you are working, you should have a desire to do the best that you can because you understand that God is being reflected to the world through you.

Proverbs 31:17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

The seventh characteristic of virtue that Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry was that she exercised in order to keep in shape. You understand that Paul wrote in I Timothy 4:8 that �bodily exercise profiteth little�. One who exercises is taking care of their body so that it will remain healthy longer. Solomon was not looking for a woman who all she did was exercise because then she would not have the time to demonstrate all the other characteristics that he was looking for in his future wife. In addition, he was also not looking for a woman who allowed her body and health to deteriorate simply because she was too busy doing everything else. Solomon was to look for a woman who cared enough about her health and future that she took the time to keep in shape.

Proverbs 31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

The sixth manifestation of virtue that Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry is that she be a visionary. Solomon was to look for a woman who did not sit around and do nothing with her time and resources but instead he was to look for a woman who was proactive with her life to better herself as she waited for her future husband to find her. Solomon was instructed to look for a woman who was neither lazy nor idle but to seek a woman who actively fulfilling a vision.

Proverb 31:15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

The fifth manifestation of virtue that Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry was diligence. Solomon was instructed to examine the evidences of a young ladies life to ensure that her life demonstrated that she was virtuous. The virtuous woman will demonstrate a desire to serve rather then be served. The virtuous woman will demonstrate a desire to be productive rather then be lazy.

This virtuous woman that Solomon was to look for could have stayed in bed and allowed her maidens to give her meat. However, Solomon was to look for the woman who demonstrated virtue through her actions of being diligent. Her actions needed to demonstrate that she was not a sluggard but a diligent woman. Solomon was not just looking for a wife, but he was looking for a helpmate, a helpmate who could assist him in fulfilling God�s calling for his life. If she demonstrated a desire to work, serve, and to stay busy, then those characteristics probably would not change and Solomon would have found someone who would make a good spouse.

Proverbs 31:14 She is like the merchants� ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

The fourth characteristic of virtue that Solomon was to look for in a wife is the quality of not being self-centered. A merchant ship did not sit around in the harbor doing nothing. Instead, a merchant ship was sent to foreign lands where it bartered for goods that were needed back home. The merchant ship was not sent once there was a need, but it is the goal of the merchant ship to provide substance before the need arose.

A merchant ship went to foreign ports not for its own benefit but for the benefit of others. A merchant ship risked its very existence by going out into the open seas where a storm could destroy it, its crew and its cargo. Yet the merchant ship is not looking out for itself but instead is looking out for the needs of others. The purpose of the merchant ship is to supply for the needs of others.

Proverbs 31:13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

The third characteristic that Solomon was to look for in a wife that would help reveal her virtue was her work habits. Solomon was instructed to look for a bride who not only understood how to work but actually enjoyed working. Solomon was to look for a bride who was diligent, one who had a desire to ensure that her life was productive. If Solomon�s bride was not a productive member of society prior to their marriage, then what makes him think that she would be in a position to help him fulfill his purpose in life? If she is unwilling to do any manual labor now, why should he think that she would be willing to do manual labor once they were married?

Proverbs 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

The second characteristic of virtue that Solomon had been instructed to look for in a wife is the characteristic of goodness. Solomon was instructed that he was to look for a wife who looked to do good things for him and not evil. This seems like a rather basic concept in that one should marry an individual who does not treat you wrongly. Nonetheless, throughout the world today, there are many individuals who allow the falling in love experience to cloud their judgment causing them to overlook major character flaws.

Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

What are some of the inner qualities of virtue? The very first one that is mentioned in this list of qualities is trust. Webster�s 1828 dictionary defines trust as �Confidence, a reliance or resting of the mind on the integrity, veracity, justice, friendship or other sound principle of another person.� Solomon was advised from his youth that when he chose a spouse, he must choose a spouse who he could trust. If he did not have confidence in her integrity, then how could he expect to have an oneness of spirit with his wife?

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

The Hebrew word for virtuous found in this passage has a similar meaning to the Greek word for virtue that is found in II Peter 1:5. According to Strongs, the definition of virtue as found in II Peter is virtue, manliness (valor), excellence, and praise. According to Strongs, the definition of virtue as used in Proverbs is virtue, valor, strength and valiant. However, the word is also used in the Hebrew to mean a force, war, an army, power, riches and substance.

In this passage, you see a list of items that a man should be looking for in his wife. You are told that a woman who demonstrates that she has virtue in her life is extremely valuable. It is debated among scholars who actually wrote this passage but one of the more credible explanations is that these were the words of Bath-sheba to her son giving him guidance in looking for his wife.

Acts 15:38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work.

God had finally given Paul and Barnabas the green light to return to the churches that they had planted on their previous missionary journey. Barnabas desired to take John Mark along with them, Paul however was opposed to the idea because he remembered how John demonstrated his lack of faith by abandoning Paul and Barnabas when thing were not going smoothly. Paul saw a deficiency of charter and he did not want an individual around who did not have the fortitude to finish the race that was set before them. Paul understood that the team was only as strong as the weakest link.

Acts 11:23 Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad,
and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto
the Lord.

Barnabas was sent by the church in Jerusalem to go preach to the
believing Jews that were in Antioch. Barnabas arrived at Antioch and saw
that the grace of God was upon the believers. This caused great joy for
Barnabas to see that those who he was to minister to already were living
their lives in such a manner that God was glorified.

Barnabas had a simple message for the believers at Antioch, they had to
make a decision to become one with God. Yes these Jews were already

Romans 14:1 Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.

Just because a brother or sister in Christ is weak in the faith, it does not give you the right to avoid fellowship with that individual. In this verse, Paul commands the church to receive those who are weak in the faith. However, you are not supposed to receive those who are weak for the purpose of honing your debate skills. Remember how Paul taught you in I Corinthians 13 that the most important thing is love.

If you are receiving your weaker brother or sister for the purpose of debating them and showing them the higher calling of God, then your lack of love will probably be evident to them and they will be more likely to reject the truth that you are attempting to share with them. Instead, when you receive a weaker brother and sister, you have an obligation to demonstrate to them your love for them.

I Timothy 3:11 Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

Paul is still talking about those who desire to be leaders in the church. One of the requirements that Paul lists for men who desire to be leaders is that his wife also demonstrate her complete faith in God. It is not just a one-man show. God makes a husband and wife one, thus when a man is being examined to see if he qualifies to lead others in the church, the qualifications of the man�s wife are equally as important.

Jesus tells us that a house divided against it self cannot stand. If a man meets all the qualifications of being an elder yet his wife does not maintain the same standards, there are going to be issues that will arise in that family if they are not already obvious that will tarnish the effectiveness of the families ministry. The purpose of a deacon is to minister to others, not to be ministered to. If the husband and wife do not have the same level of faith, it is inevitable that the family relation will reach a point where it will need help thus resulting in not only a diminishing ministry, but also causing others to stumble when they look at this leader�s family life.

You have heard that one is not to be unequally yoked. While this scripture deals with marriages among believers and unbelievers, the principle can also be applied to Christians being married with different levels of faith and different purposes in life. God created marriage so that a husband and wife are one. As a single unit, they are a powerful team to work together to do the will of God. However, if a husband and wife are not equally yoked in their level of spiritual growth and purpose in life, while they may still be one in the eyes of God, they will not have an effective ministry.

In this passage, Paul gave six verses on the qualifications of a leader in the church. Of those six verses, two are spent upon his qualifications based upon his wife and his family. Paul understood it was not just about the man but his entire family that needed to be qualified. Scripture says that you shall know them by their fruit. That is exactly what Paul is telling you to do, look at the fruit of a man�s family in order to determine if he is worthy of a position of leadership.

It is possible that you would miss problems in a man�s life if all you did were to look at just his qualifications. That is why it is necessary to also look to see if he is equally yoked, has followed God�s law by being faithful to only one woman, and that his children demonstrate that he is raising them properly by how they act. When one begins to lead in the church, it is not just the one individual who is ministering but it is the entire family.

Life is not about what you can do. It is God who created the family unit. The family was not created by civil government, it was not created by the church, it was created by God from the very beginning. Adam was able to do his job by himself, but it was God who brought him a helpmate. Together they were to have dominion over the whole earth. You can minister to God on your own. However, if you are married, your spouse must demonstrate the same level of faith or else your ministry will not be very effective in the long run. Your faith and your spouse�s faith are important elements when it comes to your ability to serve God. If you desire to serve God, be faithful first at home.

Acts 27:11 Nevertheless the centurion believed the master and the owner of the ship, more than those things which were spoken by Paul.

Paul was a prisoner being taken to Rome by a centurion named Julius. Paul warned Julius that if he sailed from the port of Lasea that there would be much damage not only to the ship but also to those who were on the ship. However, because the master of the ship felt it was safe to make the trip, Julius listened to the master rather then the cautions of Paul.

Paul as a prisoner did not have the ability to exit the ship. Paul simply could make his appeal to Julius and leave it in Julius� hands whether he listened to Paul�s cautions. Paul was hesitant to board this ship because he perceived danger. Because Paul�s appeal was not headed, Paul was forced to board a boat bounded for disaster. Paul did not have a choice once his authority decided the course they were going to take. Paul had to quietly submit to the will of Julius since the Lord was the one who put Julius over Paul.