CROWN TO HER HUSBAND - Proverbs 12:4
Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
In Proverbs 31, Solomon was instructed to find a virtuous woman for a wife. In that passage, we are shown the character traits that are found in a virtuous woman. This passage demonstrates one of the important reasons why men should be more concerned about inward character than outward beauty. If men are only looking for what they can obtain out of the relationship, then instead of having a marriage that makes them stronger, they will have a marriage that ultimately destroys them.
You understand that Paul taught men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Christ is the ultimate bridegroom while the New Testament Church is the bride of Christ. Christ came to this earth to seek HIS bride. Christ is looking for the perfect bride and by HIS ultimate sacrifice on the cross; HE covered the sins of HIS bride so that HE might present HIS bride to God.
People like to look at passages like this one in Proverbs and point at women and show how they must increase in character. However, one must understand that if Christ is the example of the perfect bridegroom, Christ was more then HIS bride. This means that in order for a man to demand a high standard from his wife, he must demand an even higher standard from his own life. If a man is going to follow the instructions of scripture to seek a virtuous woman, he must first know that he has developed character within his own life.
When both a husband and a wife seek to put God first in their lives, they will have a marriage that is glorifying to God. If either the husband or wife try to be self-centered in the marriage, the marriage will not be very strong. How can two walk together unless they be agreed? How can a young man seek a virtuous woman and demand that she live to a standard that he himself is not willing to live up to?
When a virtuous man has a virtuous wife, they will complement each other. In this passage, a virtuous wife is likened as a crown to her husband. In Proverbs 31:23, we are told that the husband of a virtuous woman is known in the gates, thus denoting that he is a man of great reputation. Marriage is not meant to be a competition among the sexes; marriage is meant to complement so that two working together can accomplish more on this earth then they could as two separate individuals.
Are you single? Look to add the character of Christ in your life. Draw closer to God so that when it is time to marry, you can marry a person of equally high character and God can use you to do great things for HIM. If you are married, it is time to start working with your spouse to start putting the things of God first in your life. Together you should work on adding character in your own life so that as you grow in HIM, your marriage can grow even closer and be a picture to the world of Christ’s relationship with the church.
How are you going to add inward character to your life? You must take the time to understand what is important to God and start implementing those changes into your life. As you daily take the time to add knowledge of the ways of God, this knowledge will reveal to you where you are weak in the faith and how you need to change.